I stand as if on a cliff
staring seaside.
The wind, the seagulls, the waves
crash over me.
My whole life lies before me,
awaiting my descent.
I breathe in the earthy aura
surrounding my person,
as I await for what shall come to pass...
And yet, even without looking,
I know.
The gift of seeing, of reaching this height
has also plagued me.
I am alone. I am stuck.
Every moment of my life is just
a wistful breath, a lustful moment
for something good; for greatness.
I look down and suddenly the
ground rushes to my consciousness.
No path lies before me.
No way is behind me.
I cannot move.
I cannot see.
I cannot breathe.
I cannot be...
for it is in all these moments
that I realize.
Realizing nothing good can come to pass.
For what sits in my line of sight
is truly not for me.
But for those living in its presence.
For those swimming in the sea,
playing on the beach,
laughing with their happiness.
It's not for me.
I'm standing, as an isolate, on this cliff
waiting; just waiting
for my end to be.
---
I wrote this poem as the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve 2011. Being on vacation with a group of close friends provided me with much time for reflection and opportunities for developing perspective on life. This poem really captures the mood that causes many people to hesitate to work towards greatness. The fear of not deserving to achieve happiness. The belief that one is an island with no support. While these attitudes may be irrational, they are quite prevalent in our society. I know I feel this way often, even when I tell myself that it is not true.
My only advice for people feeling this way is to express your doubts and your fear. This allows you the ability to identify and reject those thoughts and make way for new ones. More positive ones. More optimistic. Aiming for a better future.
